Saturday, October 26, 2013

Progress is showing up to the page

Silence used to control me. It's hard to explain how much, but imagine that every word and action was monitored for years, until I didn't need to be monitored anymore - until I was the monitor.

You lose your voice and personality.  

I agreed with the community that rejected my experiences, from the smallest emotions to the largest questions. I remained silent, because I agreed that my story was not allowed. I was afraid of rejection. I was afraid of hurting vulnerable people.

I am still afraid. I feel weak for not being able to speak under my own name. But I am clearing my throat, I am beginning to speak. For now, progress is showing up to the page.

What feels true today:

The first ones to tell the story take a bigger risk, and deserve our gratitude.

The threat of rejection means that your story is powerful. 

There can be a strong bond between you and the few people that you trust with all of your story, and I am grateful for that.

There will always be uncertainty when you tell the story for the first time to a new audience, when you are waiting for a voice to answer back.


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